RECAP: “RuPaul’s Drag Race Global All Stars” Episode 3 (The Ball)
Oh dear. After a wonderful split premiere, “Global All Stars” seems to have suffered the “Drag Race” “Curse of 3,” as this third episode was a massive falling off from the previous two. Between largely unexciting challenge performances, dubious decisions for the Bottom 2, and an edit that seemed to rush through everything to get to a stunningly short run time (a 40-something-minute episode featuring 36 looks from 12 queens?), this felt like a misfire on many fronts. I’m still fully on board for this season, and I continue to be delighted to see literally every one of these queens on my screen. But this episode was a mess. Let’s get into Episode 3.
Note that there will be spoilers below, and I STRONGLY encourage you to watch the episode before reading on. Not yet signed up for Paramount+? Click right here:
No mini-challenge this episode. After some post-gaming from the Episode 2 lipsync — including more than one queen pointing out that both Sverige’s Vanity Vain and Philippines’ Eva Le Queen did a middling job (I also think part of the issue there was a shitty lipsync song, all T all shade), RuPaul emerges from the sliding doors to announce this week’s challenge: It’s the ball. Specifically, the International Queen of Mystery Ball, a James Bond-inspired challenge that tasked the queens with presenting looks in three categories: Boss Lady in Charge, She-vil Villain, and International Queen of Mystery. The third look had to be created in the workroom, using provided materials, mostly fabrics.
I’ve been waiting for a James Bond challenge on this show for a long time. It perfectly fits “Drag Race” — Bond has a history of camp and overly sexualized women — and it especially feels relevant for a global season, as the Bond films have covered just about every inch of the planet at this point. (Check out our Best James Bond Film episode to hear a queer-oriented take on the venerable spy-film series.)
Unfortunately, the execution did not live up to the promise. I’m not entirely sure why. I believe these queens got some kind of wardrobe stipend for this season, and to be sure most of the runways thus far are at least original and competently made. But over and over again this episode I felt the outfits fell squarely in the “meh” category. Not bad, not great, mostly just there, and without a lot of impact. I think part of the issue is that the categories were so vague that it didn’t give the queens much to work off of. In fact, multiple times I felt each queen’s look could have been interchanged among almost any of the three categories. I also think that the incredible ball we got on “All Stars 9” may have spoiled us. Nothing on this stage came close to what Plastique Tiara and Gottmik served up on that season just a month or so ago.
Here’s the final category for the challenge, featuring the outfits the queens made in the werk room:
I’m not going to bother to go through the results queen by queen, because honestly I thought there were two clear tops, one clear bottom, and the rest fell in the “fine” zone.
Those two clear tops were Canada’s Pythia and USA’s Alyssa Edwards, for very different reasons. Alyssa got her Top 2 spot based on the incredible looks she brought from home, which screamed “spenny, henny.” That computerized look for Category 1 is one of the coolest things I have ever seen on a “Drag Race” runway, super effective — it must have cost her thousands on its own. The she-villain look for Category 2 seemed like a callback to her Black Swan outfit from Season 5, but highly elevated, like a Final Fantasy end boss. Alyssa’s final, workroom-made look — a variety of nude fabrics pieced together over a corset with some rouching — was adequate. Did it say “international woman of mystery”? No, but very few of them did. What it said was, “I spent a fuck ton of money on two drop-dead gorgeous looks, and this is serviceable enough to not cost me points. And she was right. (Kudos to Alyssa for also dragging early-season “Drag Race” judge Santino Rice during critiques; he had it coming. That was the moment of the night, which is an indication of how blah this episode was overall.)
Pythia, on the other hand, earned her top spot through creativity, taste, and talent. Pythia makes basically everything she wears in drag. If you watched “Canada’s Drag Race” Season 2, you know that week after week she brought out some of the most incredible runway outfits in the “Drag Race” franchise. She’s unique, she’s creative, although her runways tend to veer more toward costume, not couture. She was aware of that, and worked to focus her more gonzo concepts into something more fashion-forward to nail this challenge. And she did. Her boss lady look was an impeccably chic, exaggerated business suit with a massive beehive filled with spy cameras. Her villain look had long nails and needles meant to drain the fillers and injectables the “All Star” queens pump into their faces (I don’t know if the arm piece hanging off the back worked the way she envisioned, but overall the look was successful). Her third look, made in the werk room, was like Britney Spears in the “Oops I Did It Again” video on crack, ridiculously over the top but stylish, sexy, beautifully made. Hers was one of the few workroom-made looks that actually made sense with that third category.
So it was only correct — even inevitable — that Pythia won the challenge and $10,000. Good for her. I thought Pythia got lost in the premieres a bit, so it was wonderful to see her get her moment here. I expect her social media follows will blow up this week. DESERVED!
As for the rest of the tops/bottoms, that’s complicated. Germany’s Tessa Testicle, Brasil’s Miranda LeBrao, Belgique’s Athena Likis, and France’s Soa de Muse were all called for critiques. I think the judges meant for Tessa to be in the High category, but that’s frankly insane.
Tessa’s first two looks, brought from home, were solid. Big step up from Tessa’s original season, that’s for sure. I suspect she had a mouth prosthetic in for the first one, and either never deployed it or they didn’t show it (on social media Italia’s Nehellenia also alluded to doing a reveal at one point that was also never shown — the editing this episode was VERY strange). But two solid first looks shouldn’t have outweighed easily the worst workroom-made look for the third category. She was going for a Miss Congeniality-inspired gown, which is clever and on message for the “mystery” category. But what she ended up with was more Miss Can’t-geniality. The sash placement was…insane. Insane! The ball gown had a massive hole in it, clearly visible from certain angles. The breasts could have been featured on “Botched.” It was truly the worst look on the stage, by a wide mile.
If the judges really intended for Tessa to be in the top, it was solely to piss off the other queens. They do this. We’ve seen it several times, most notably Jorgeous in the Season 14 design challenge, where she was given the win for her cookie-cutter-napkin slip of look solely to drive Daya Betty to madness. And it worked here, too. Athena was pressed that Tessa was praised given her “shit” (Athena’s word) dress, and several other queens similarly felt some kind of way about it. While her design may have been a flop, Tessa is delivering exactly what the producers need from her this season: drama, mama. Between the judging fiasco and her slapping at Alyssa during RuPaul’s werk room check-in, Tessa understands the assignment and she is excelling in this season, whereas other, arguably bigger threats are struggling to break through in the edit.
Speaking of struggles, let’s discuss the “bottom” looks. Of the Bottom 3 — Athena, Miranda, Soa — only Soa deserved to be there. She may be French, but Soa said right from the jump that she is not Paris couture. She is from the rougher areas of France, and she doesn’t give a shit about high fashion. That was evident this episode! I will give credit to Soa for having a cohesive storyline throughout her three looks — there was a technological component present across the board. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the assignment, and after Look 2 I literally said out loud, “I have no idea what Soa is trying to do here.” Her Grace Jones-inspired handmade look was probably one of the better looks she put out, but it was also very simple. She was rightfully in the bottom, and of her two episodes thus far, Soa has been the worst competitor in both. That shocks me, because she’s a fierce queen from a competitive season. She’s just not delivering here.
I didn’t think Miranda had any business being in the Bottom 3. I understood the confusion around the second look. It was incredibly cool and attention grabbing, but I don’t think it matched the category at all — it looked more like some kind of supernatural monster than a James Bond villain. I also understood the judges’ notes about not swallowing herself up with yards of fabric. But I thought her first look, inspired by Carmen Sandiego, was chic as fuck, and I thought her last look — inspired by Daphne from “Scooby-Doo” — had a cool concept and looked good. Several other queens should have been in that F3 spot instead of Miranda.
In fact, I think several other queens should have been in the other Bottom 2 spot instead of Athena. Athena did nothing wrong in this ball. All of her looks were successful. I think the issue came down to impact, both visual and presentation. I understood Ru’s critique that the third look was so minimal in its construction that there’s not a ton of transformation going on. In Season 7 parlance, “It’s giving boy.” The problem is, that’s very much Athena’s style, and also apparently Belgian drag. They don’t go for hyper femme. They’re not that interested in the gender transformation. It’s much more androgynous and genderfuck, and the fact that it was used as an argument against her for this challenge…that’s troubling for a show that’s supposed to be about celebrating international styles of drag.
The Bottom 2 of Soa de Muse and Athena Likis lipsynched to Olivia Rodrigo’s “Bad Idea, Right?” Love that song, love Olivia, not sure why this song is being used in an international competition, especially for two queens for whom English is a second language. If you thought the Vanity vs. Eva lipsynch was middling, this was worse. Neither queen seemed particularly engaged with the song. At no point did I think, “Oh, that’s interesting/exciting.” They barely seemed to keep up with the words. It occurred to me watching this that most of the queens in this cast were so successful the first time around that they finished their seasons either never lipsynching, or lipsynching only sparingly. That may bode poorly for lipsynchs overall this season. (Side note: Soa’s lpipsynch outfit was better than anything she wore for the ball. So strange!)
Ultimately it was Athena who got the chop. I don’t think she deserved to be the bottom, I don’t think she deserved to lipsynch, but I do think of the two of them, Soa won that. I also think that Athena was at a massive disadvantage here because her personality is very lowkey, very monotone. I think that’s cultural. I’ve watched both seasons of Belgique and these are not particularly effusive queens. Talented, gorgeous, interesting — absolutely. But bubbly and magnetic? No. That kind of a personality isn’t going to vibe with RuPaul, or pop over some of the bigger personalities in this crowd. And for that reason, I think Athena was always an underdog. But did she deserve to go out on this challenge? Probably not.
Next time: it’s girl groups — which will be weird, with 11 queens — and The Hilarious Ross Matthews (TM) joins the panel, because what we needed was MORE U.S. representation on the judging panel!
What did you think of the two-part premiere? Are you loving this season? Are you loving these international queens all crossing over? Drop your thoughts in the comments.
Also, if you haven’t watched most of these international seasons, here’s your next homework. Go back and watch “Drag Race France” 1 before Episode 4. Soa de Muse is not having a great “Global” run, but she’s a spectacular queen who is much better than this season suggests. “France” Season 1 is only 8 episodes, and very easy to binge before next week. Bonus: you’ll also get to meet “Drag Race Mexico” host Lolita Banana and reconnect with U.S. Season 12’s Nicky Doll! It’s a wonderful season, and “France” 2 is even better.
